there's no forgiveness in living ( lesley )

[RAFAEL ADAM MORRISON]

Rafael Adam Morrison
She lifts the m a s k and asks, w h e r e have you been?

[/color]
I want to d i e, I want to die, I am the w i l l i n g ,
He says, y o u ' r e wrong, don't l i e to me.[/center][/size]

"Since when have you been having these violent thoughts, mister Morrison?"

Cupping his strong hands under the running water, Rafael quickly splashed it up into his face, before leaning forward and remaining hovered over the sink for a moment. The drops of water trickled down his chiseled features and back down the drain, while his eyelashes were left saturated and slightly blurring his vision from time to time. He reached over for the towel and balled it in his fist, before wiping at his face and leaving it dry. He still felt dirty. No matter how many times he washed his hands or took a shower, he still felt tainted by his actions. His gaze slowly moved down to settle on his hands, flexing them slightly before resting them against the edge of the sink and gripping it tightly while his lips parted for sharp breaths.

His brown eyes closed for a moment, before opening them again and staring dead straight at his rather ghasty reflection. Even when he was younger, he was never particularly fond of his looks. He always seemed skinnier than the other guys, even falling into a short-lived depression and loosing tons of pounds from lack of eating when one of his closest friends moved away. He'd never told her that though, how much he cared about her. But things were different now. He leaned forward to press his forehead against the glass, closing his eyes at the cool contact. He was different now.

"It just sort of happened. I'm not sure you would believe me if I told you. Well, maybe you would... I'd like to think that you knew me once. But that was a long time ago."

Rafael moved into his living room and reached up to wrap his tie around his neck, looking down at his chest to make the ends even, before adjusting it. Sometimes he wondered how much strength it would take to strangle himself. She had been so easy, he could already begin to see her eyes rolling to the back of her head before Lesley had arrived on the scene, unexpectantly. He was surprised that she even remembered where he lived. Or maybe he'd told her, over one of their few emails or phone conversations. He wasn't sure. But he had been so close to ending it all. He wasn't sure if he should thank her or never speak to her again for her intrusion. Though he was angrier at his ex-wife for turning him into this monster that couldn't even appreciate the simple fact that an old friend was back. Over time, he came to realize that he needed her, now that he had finalized the divorce. He needed to talk to someone.

He took a taxi cab to her office in town. He was surprised that he hadn't seen it before. But then again, he was always so busy with work as a lawyer that he didn't have time to notice the trivial things in this town. He'd thrown himself headfirst into work to try and clear his head. But he met up with her twice a week, to speak about his feelings and some other nonsense that never left his mouth. He usually just asked her questions about herself, trying to avoid the spotlight. He didn't want her to see him like this. No, not like this.

Rafael pushed open the glass door and stepped inside, not even bothering to go up to the front desk, since he knew where her office was. He did hear the receptionist call Lesley to tell her about her appointment with him and that he had arrived, but she was probably with someone else or taking a lunch break, so he took a seat in the hallway and waited. He didn't like these places. It wasn't like he was crazy or anything. Not like the guy that had tried to swallow a spoon. He was comical though. He folded his hands on his lap, sharply dressed even though she'd seen him at his worst in a dirty jersey back in high school, but he doubted that she remembered that. She wouldn't remember him.

People forgot all the time. He didn't feel like he was a huge mark in her life, just another face in the crowd, but to him, she had been one of the only people he'd ever considered a friend. The only one he trusted. He didn't think that she knew that though. "She'll see you now, mister Morrison," Rafael heard the receptionist say as he moved forward to stand, taking in a deep breath before he placed his hand on the doorknob and turned it. This was it. Another day to face his demons.

( LYRICS ) strangers - william control
( TAG ) lesley-darling to the bree-a-bean =]
( WORD COUNT ) falling strawberries w/o codes ftw
( NOTES ) scene in my head, had to write it, lol.
&& figured someone would use this board XD.
she can have her office nearby or something.

[/size][/blockquote]

[LESLEY ANN WALKER]

lesley ann walker
don't w a s t e your time
s p e e d up your breathing
just close your e y e s
we'll hope it's not for n o t h i n g at all

Her fist connected with the padded hand of her personal trainer, her hazel eyes are glued to him as she continued her routine with the grunts emitting from his lips. She was getting more and more intense with each session, making her trainer nervous. Ever since her father got out of prison, she's been working up her tough skin, try and be a tougher person so if things ever went the way she hoped it wouldn't, she could defend herself properly. As each of her punches landed against the trainer's hands, the trainer would take a step back. She barely noticed however as she started to let her emotions be verbally known. Her mind was flashing to each slap, each shove, and every time her brother had to intervene when Daddy Dearest got too intense with her. She grunted loudly as her eyes didn't blink, her punches landing harder and harder. Her muscles strained as her prefect, alabaster skin glistened with sweat as her trainer continued to take a step back. Finally, he yanked his arms down just as Lesley lifted her leg to give his hand a swift kick.

"No!" He called and took several steps away from her. Lesley slowly lowered her limber leg down as her gloved hands lowered and she fell into an eased stance. She knew that she was coming on too strong with him lately and she looked away, brushing short dark hair from her face. Her trainer huffed and puffed as he looked at her, his dark eyes staring at her for a moment before he grunted, wiping his sweat soaked face before walking back over to her. He tossed the pads to the floor before taking her shoulders into his hands, his thumbs brushing over the sweat against her bare skin before looking down at her.

"For a therapist, you have a lot of pent up angst in there, Les." He said before stepping away from her to grab bottles of water. Lesley blinked slowly as she walked over to her towel and picked it up before bringing it to her face. She wiped the sweat from her face as she took in deep, erratic breaths as her trainer returned to her with a bottle of Smart Water. She took it graciously before taking a long swig from it.

"Wanna talk about it, babe?" He asked as he took a swig of his own bottle of water. Lesley looked to him before looking to the clock. She then grimaced as she shook her head and started to grab her bag.

"Can't, I have a session in a few minutes. Same time tomorrow?" She said before she walked out of the room, not bothering to listen for a response. She was there everyday, what made tomorrow any different. As the 5'1" therapist rushed down the hall, she was stripping out of her gym clothing and into her dress clothing. Her session was with Rafael Morrison today, an old friend, a man that she held on a pedestal for such a long time. That is, until she walked in on him strangling his wife. It had been a moment in her life that she was desperately trying to forget. He wasn't normally violent, at least not when they were closer. Not before he met that woman. Lesley had never been a big fan of her, but she never knew that things were that bad.

Lesley walked into the office building, brushing a comb through her hair as she smoothed her dress top down against her perfect body. She heaved the gym bag over her shoulders just as she looked to see Rafe enter the building. She squeaked as she rushed to the door and walked into her office and shut the door. Okay, why was she being such a girl about this? Was it the fact that she still had lingering feelings for him? Maybe, but she couldn't think of him that way. He was her patient, someone she was trying to help cope with issues. She was to address him as Mr. Morrison, not Rafael. Not even Rafe, and it sort of pained her that their relationship has been reduced to this. She wanted to help him, desperately, but she didn't feel like she was making much headway with him. She tossed the bag to the back of her room with a thump before she grabbed his file off her desk surface. She then sighed, brushing bangs out of her face before she grab her phone as it rang. She just pressed a button and didn't give her receptionist the time to speak.

"Send him in, Louise." She said and released the button. She then crossed the carpeted floor and sat herself in her usual chair. She then sighed, her chest heaving as a shudder rippled through her small body. He was so mysteriously attractive, it was sometimes difficult for her to think about what he's done. However, she still retained the belief that he had just lost it, and needed psychological help. As for that ex-wife of his, well, she didn't really give a damn about her.

As the door opened, she put on a genuine, yet smile as she looked to him coming through the door. Her hazel/green eyes stared up at him as she set her clipboard down and leaned forward on her palms as she gripped the edge of her chair.

"Hey there, Mr. Morrison." She said with a smile as her short, dark brown hair falling forward. God she just had the worst feelings coursing through her right now. He needed guidance, not lust. However, if she had the option, she would tell him how she felt about him, how he made her feel. However, she didn't have that option, so she would settle for therapist/patient relationship.

w o r d c o u n t , 1148 w/ codes
t a g ,rafe-sex aka lill-a-bean
l y r i c s , secret valentine by we the kings
n o t e s , she's been working out !

[RAFAEL ADAM MORRISON]

Rafael Adam Morrison
She lifts the m a s k and asks, w h e r e have you been?

[/color]
I want to d i e, I want to die, I am the w i l l i n g ,
He says, y o u ' r e wrong, don't l i e to me.[/center][/size]

Rafael had finally entered the room that he knew he'd regret entering at one point or another during their conversation. Not because it was Lesley that was on the other end, but because of the topics that her profession forced her to bring up. She was only doing her job, of course. It wasn't like she was intentionally trying to cause him any harm or discomfort, right? With anyone else, he wouldn't be too sure. But he felt as if he could trust Lesley, even if she didn't trust him, and he couldn't blame her for that. Lawyers were hard people to trust. When he entered, their height difference wasn't immediately apparent because she had decided to take a seat, in the same place that she always did. His dark brown eyes acknowledged his case file on her desk for a moment, which had his name in large block letters, before looking away. He felt vulnerable around her sometimes. She knew so much about him. Hell, his life was practically in her hands right now.

He looked up at her again to notice her smile, which caused a small one from him, before nodding slowly at her greeting. "Afternoon, Ms. Walker," he replied in a polite manner, before taking one of the seats across from her desk and resting his folded hands on his lap. He always felt self-conscious sitting near someone like her. They were always analyzing him, every little move he made, and sometimes he wondered if they would notice if he did something on purpose. A manipulated jerk, a nervous smile, or a far away look in his eyes. Being a lawyer, he was always thinking on his toes, always trying to outwit the other person. Or maybe he was just hiding, trying to put up a front so that Lesley wouldn't see who he really was. But she had already seen him, in all of his glory, and she wasn't exactly running away. That sort of bothered him, because he knew that he would run away from himself if he was in her shoes.

It was hard for Rafael not to notice her beauty. She still looked as beautiful as she had all those years ago. When her hair fell into her face, his mind flashed to his ex-wife. He could still remember sitting on the couch with her, reaching over to brush her hair behind her ear, but before he even grazed her skin, her hand shot up and clasped around his wrist, giving him a sharp look and shoving him off. Somehow she still expected him to perform in bed, after giving him a cold shoulder during the day. Her mixed signals left him sleepless, while she slept the whole night away. He noticed that Lesley was sweating a bit, probably the aftermath of working out, and he blinked to try to stop staring at her. When had he started? Probably around the same time that he'd spaced out. He tended to do that from time to time. He'd leave this world for a little while and retreat into his head, where all of his old memories lay. That was the part that Lesley often tried to tap into, but he wouldn't let her in there.

He felt himself gulp as he rubbed the palms of his hands gently against the arm rests, before sitting back and folding his hands so that they rested on his stomach. He wasn't sure how to act around her now. They were in different worlds it seemed. Her hands were clean. His weren't. He never knew what to say to start things off either. So he just sat there, focusing on everywhere but her, though he often thought about her voice. That voice that pierced through his mind when he thought about her walking in on them, screaming out as she tried to pry him loose from his ex-wife, who was turning blue. If she had only arrived a few seconds later... just a few seconds... but karma was a bitch. So was his ex-wife.

You'd think that she would be out of the picture now that they were divorced, but the truth of the matter was that it couldn't be any further from the truth. Lately she had been claiming something along the lines of a pregnancy. He didn't believe her for a second, unless she was sleeping with another man, whom he didn't care to know about. She wasn't anything to him anymore. But she always made so many excuses to try to keep him around, but it was done out of malicious spite, not love. He wasn't sure if she even knew what love was and he often wondered how things could have been different if Lesley hadn't left. He might've been happy with her, instead of settling for a woman that had destroyed his life. But no use trying to change the past, even if she was sitting right infront of him.

Somehow, he still felt invisible around her.

( LYRICS ) strangers - william control
( TAG ) lesley-darling to the bree-a-bean =]
( WORD COUNT ) falling strawberries w/o codes ftw
( NOTES ) don't worry, he noticed, lol.

[/size][/blockquote]

[LESLEY ANN WALKER]

lesley ann walker
don't w a s t e your time
s p e e d up your breathing
just close your e y e s
we'll hope it's not for n o t h i n g at all

Rain poured down on the field as the students cheered as the rugby team slammed into each other, their bodies hitting the mud hard. The cheer squad roared as Lesley laughed and clapped her hands, her long brown hair cascading over her shoulders as she turned to the cheerleader beside her as she cheered loudly to a particular player. Lesley didn't really mind much, but she felt a twinge whenever the other girl cheered for Rafe. He was her friend, nothing more, yet she still felt that fluttering feeling in her stomach whenever he smiled at her. Little did she know at the time, that cheerleader would be his wife, and leave this beautiful country. However, she would be the first to leave England, thanks to a certain father. But at this moment in her life in 1998, she was Lesley Walker, the asian cheerleader that all the rugby boys wanted on their arms. As the referee called it, the came was over, and their team had won the game. The cheers errupted and Lesley tossed her pom poms to the mud with a loud laugh. The rain pelted the crowd, yet they were all too pumped up to really care.

Rafael's towering form rushed toward the stands with the rest of the team, but he diverated his path to her and she giggled as his muddy body lifted her up off the ground. He was her best friend, her one true companion. The rain poured down on them as Rafe's throaty laughed vibrated against her tiny frame as he smeared mud from his face to hers and she cried out in laughter as she struggled feebly to get away from him. The tiny cheerleader wrapped her arms around his neck and the pair turned toward everyone else and yelled in celebration with the rest of the team. The other cheerleader shouted as well, but she looked toward them with a glare before she smiled fakely with the rest of the team and the rest of the squad. Rafe's muddy hands gripped Lesley's small body, her uniform now covered in mud stains but she didn't care.

"Lesley!" A loud shout sounded and she turned toward the other side of her to see her father standing there, spitting to the ground. She shuddered as Rafe slowly lowered her to the mud, her white tennis shoes covered in mud. She stared at him with fear in her hazel eyes. She felt Rafe's grip on her waist tight as he looked toward the man. She could feel the tension in his shoulders just by the way he was holding onto her. Rafe knew about her dad, about the things that he's done.

"Now!" She heard the man shout to her and she slowly turned toward him. She looked away, her face falling in fear in sadness as her fellow cheerleader just smirked and nodded toward her as she walked closer to Rafe.

"Les don't." She remembered Rafe saying before she pulled free from the tall rugby player's strong, safe grasp before she walked away toward her father as he snorted and grabbed her arm and yanked her down to the parking lot. She was out of sight before the man back handed her and slammed her into the side of the car. She whimpered and felt his hand against the back of her head. Her gut was in pain and her hand went to her stomach.

Everytime they met like this, old memories flashed in her mind which were either nice or like this one, a mixture of happiness and pain. She just delivered a smile to him as he sat himself across from her and folded his hands across his stomach. She knew that he didn't like being here, because there was a time when she knew him better than anyone. Was it fate that they were in this state together? That they both managed to come to the same place in the United States? She liked to think that a higher power forced them to this point, to see each other yet again. She had missed Rafe the most when she was forced to leave London. Now, here they were, face to face, and completely different people now. She wasn't that wide-eyed, infatuated teenage girl anymore, she was so much more.

Lesley thought about that night at the game, the way his hands held her in his arms, before her father ripped her away from him. She sighed, rising from her seat and making her way toward him and sitting across from him in another seat. She left her pen and files on her desk, suddenly feeling very unprofessional.

"He's out." Her accent rippled as she looked toward Rafael, her green/hazel eyes full of fear as she looked away from him quickly as she remembered how it felt when her body slammed into the car before he took her home. Took her home and threw her down the stairs. She remembered the pain she felt when her small form hit the floor at the base of the staircase. Lesley shuddered as she shook her head, rubbing her hands together. This was terribly unprofessional. He was here for her help, and here she was, about to spill her own guts to him instead of the other way around.

"I thought that if I took kick boxing and worked my arse off that he wouldn't be able to hurt me..." She then slowly looked back to Rafael and a tear rolled down her soft, white cheek as she looked at her long time friend, the man that she had trusted with her life, the first man she ever loved, and a whimper left her lips.

"But I feel that like that tiny cheerleader all over again." She shuddered as she looked away slowly and looked back toward her desk. She couldn't do this, she needed to do her job. She sniffled and groaned, squeezing her eyes shut as she rose from her spot on the chair and smoothed her out slowly, as if she was about to pretend that never happened, that her confession of her fears never left her lips. She moved away from him and toward her desk and grabbed her clipboard and pen. She then leaned against the side of the desk and turned back to Rafe and brushed her hair from her face, clearing her throat for a moment before lengthening out her neck.

"Um, we discussed the mishap with your wife in our last session. Has the rage returned at all recently, or have things been moderately normal?"

w o r d c o u n t , 1148 w/ codes
t a g ,rafe-sex aka lill-a-bean
l y r i c s , secret valentine by we the kings
n o t e s , omg sorry for the HUGE flashback, i got carried away. !

[RAFAEL ADAM MORRISON]

Rafael Adam Morrison
She lifts the m a s k and asks, w h e r e have you been?

[/color]
I want to d i e, I want to die, I am the w i l l i n g ,
He says, y o u ' r e wrong, don't l i e to me.[/center][/size]

Rafael could still clearly remember their good times back in high school. In fact, those memories had been the ones that kept him even remotely sane throughout his marriage from hell. He would often stay up late going through his old, worn out high school yearbook--notably one of the only personal belongings that he'd brought back with him from London--when his ex-wife would go to bed angry after one of their many senseless fights over his latest whereabouts. It had gotten to a point where he didn't follow her to try and offer his comfort anymore. She wouldn't hear of it. She blinded herself to what was being said, instead of trusting him. So he would sit alone in the living room with the tv blaring out nonsense in the background as his dark brown eyes flickered across the pages of a time that seemed like it would never end while they were living it. And then he found himself rushing towards the airport, missing her departure by just a couple of minutes, the last thing he saw being the flicker of her dark hair as she walked into oblivion.

Not many people knew why he had decided to become a lawyer, but most of them speculated that he was just following in his father's footsteps. Well, they were wrong. After witnessing one too many times how Lesley's father treated her, he knew that he wanted to be a public defender. Sometimes it was a corrupt job, not everything was black and white, but he felt the need to protect other people, since he hadn't been able to find a way to protect Lesley before she left. But she seemed to have done a pretty good job at looking after herself. I mean, she was still here, right? He always felt guilty though. Wasn't it just as bad to stand by, watching something happen and doing nothing about it, than to be the one inflicting the damage?

It was safe to say that he was probably the worst person to ask. He'd put up with his marriage until it was in shambles, before finally taking matters into his own hands. But he went about it the wrong way.

As they sat there in the deafening silence, Rafael returned her smile with one of his own, though it felt detached somehow. They had lost that strong bond that once held them together so well. Like glue. It was strange how that happened. Now they had conformed to monotone conversations about personal topics that he never could bring himself to answer directly. He wasn't sure if he believed in fate, but he didn't believe in coincidences. Two people from London, going through the various trials and tribulations of life, turning into completely different people before meeting again. Could they ever go back to being the people that they had once been? Probably not. But maybe they could be better. Maybe she would be able to decode his shallow words and take it as the pain that it was, instead of just labeling it with a name and calling it a day. Maybe she would finally be the one to save him.

He could still remember how fast his heart used to beat when he was around her back in London. Sometimes it would leap when she smiled, but it would never stray far from the ball and chain that it had acquired with his bad experiences. At least, not as of yet. His eyes never betrayed how he was feeling, his steady gaze always remaining stale and distant.

Rafael slowly looked up at her when she spoke, taking him a moment to piece together what she was trying to say. His expression softened slightly, while his shoulders gave way to tension as he sat up a bit straighter in his seat. He could still remember her father, that bitter old man that he wouldn't mind erasing off the face of this earth. He'd tried to confront the man before, back in their teenage years, but Lesley always seemed to find a way to stop him and make him change his mind. She didn't want him to get hurt. But he was a grown man now, and he had no doubt in his mind that if he ever saw the twisted bastard again, his attempt to strangle his wife would be nothing compared to the aftermath of his actions. He listened as she spoke about her training, which made sense now, before noticing her tear. As it slid down her cheek, he could feel something dying inside, but falling against something else in his chest and igniting a flame. A neverending flame that triggered a promise.

He had been so numb to other people ever since his marriage, that it was hard for him to react in this situation. After being shunned from showing any comfort, it was almost like he forgot how to look after someone else. He barely looked after himself, letting himself get overworked and losing sleep over matters that couldn't be changed. But he could feel the emotion behind her words. His arms draped over his knees as his hands seemed to fall apart from one another, slowly moving to rest on his knee caps as he leaned forward a bit. He opened his mouth to speak, but she was already gone, moving in a heightened pace towards her desk. He sat back in his seat, not having said a word, but there were so many resting on the tip of his tongue.

"You're not that tiny cheerleader anymore," Rafael spoke after a pause, dismissing her question about his rage. "Not any more than me being the star player of the rugby team." He seemed to pick at his short fingernails, which had recently been bitten down to the quik out of anxiety. But they had grown back for the most part. The human body was a complex structure. Though he knew that the mind was the most difficult to understand. The most difficult to harness. "You seem stronger. Not just on the outside, but... on the inside. How does one go about making that change?" He didn't expect her to answer him. In fact, she would probably toss another question his way and they would keep playing this game. Neither of them would get any answers, but at least he got to see her again. Even if he felt that maybe he didn't deserve it.

( LYRICS ) strangers - william control
( TAG ) lesley-darling to the bree-a-bean =]
( WORD COUNT ) falling strawberries w/o codes ftw
( NOTES ) flashbacks are my life, so *thumbs up*

[/size][/blockquote]

[LESLEY ANN WALKER]

lesley ann walker
don't w a s t e your time
s p e e d up your breathing
just close your e y e s
we'll hope it's not for n o t h i n g at all

Lesley didn't want the fact that her father was out of prison affect her, seeing as how it was making her entire body quiver with disgust and fear. She wanted to be stronger, because if he ever found her here, she was going to have to act. She was scared, and she didn't want to feel that fear anymore. She remembered how liberating it felt when she was called by her aunt, letting her know that her father had been thrown in prison. But now, that relief was gone and she had to learn how to protect herself. Her personal trainer was getting bruises from her blows landing, and she knew that he didn't deserve that. She just needed to be ready. He bought a punching bag for her after their first session and she ripped a large hole in the middle of it after a week. There still were sands bits scattered throughout her training room in her house. She was a strong, independent woman, but whenever she thought of her father, all that strength and independence disappeared within her. She didn't want to be this weak, but she had a feeling if it ever came down to her and her father, she wasn't too confident in her abilities.

"You're a whore, just like your mother." He shouted as he slammed his fist into her face. Lesley cried out and hit the hardwood floor with a shudder. Her long brown hair fell over her face as she looked at the floor. Blood dripped from her lips to the floor and she slowly looked up at her face as he reached down for her.

"No, Daddy, please!" She screamed, her dad gripping her wrists and yanking her off the floor. Blood rolled down her chin as he shook her violent as tears rolled down her face. She was so helpless and she didn't know what to do. Her mother stood off too the side, gripping the door frame she was standing as tears rolled down her face. Why wasn't she stopping him? Why was her mother letting this happen to her?

Then, everything when black when her father shoved her away and down the stairs. Her head connected with the wall and her slender body rolled down the stairs and hit the floor with a thud and she remembered hearing the sound of her mother's screams from upstairs and her father's loud voice calling her name.

Lesley looked up when she heard Rafael's voice, saying she wasn't that tiny cheerleader anymore. She sniffled and looked away, knowing that he was right, but that didn't change the fact that she still felt like that little cheerleader. She looked back to him when he said he wasn't that rugby player anymore. They really weren't those kids anymore, and everyday, she wished they were. To turn back time and fix how things ended with them. She remembered being in love with Rafael, and then having to fly off to the United States, it destroyed their friendship. Then his question caused her jaw to set as she looked down at her manicured fingernails before looking back to him.

"I'm thinking it starts with the constant abuse from a violent father. But really began when he tossed me down a flight of stairs. When I moved here, I started training, working out and honing my body in case I would ever have to defend myself." Lesley said, looking at Rafael with a shudder. Her body was shaking as she put everything off to the side, knowing that this session was going to be different from the rest of them. She looked down at the floor before looking back to Rafael, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"But I'm still that scared little girl, Rafe..."

w o r d c o u n t , 1148 w/ codes
t a g ,rafe-sex aka lill-a-bean
l y r i c s , secret valentine by we the kings
n o t e s , aww she needs a hug !

[RAFAEL ADAM MORRISON]

Rafael Adam Morrison
She lifts the m a s k and asks, w h e r e have you been?

[/color]
I want to d i e, I want to die, I am the w i l l i n g ,
He says, y o u ' r e wrong, don't l i e to me.[/center][/size]

Although Rafael was terrible at reading himself and his own needs, he could tell when something was troubling someone else. As a lawyer, he'd learned to pick up on other people's body language, and even when they said that they were okay, it was only a failed attempt around him. He could recognize alot from the little things that most people missed or took for granted. She was shaking, inside and out. Even if the words that escaped her mouth were put on mute, Rafe could see the fear in her eyes. He understood it, because he knew where it came from. He didn't have to ask her about it. He'd been there. A part of him wanted nothing more than to stand up from his spot and break passed the patient-therapist relationship and just... just embrace her. He wanted her to stop shaking. He wanted to make it all go away. But he knew that only she could make this go away and it wouldn't be in the best of circumstances.

Sometimes you have to face your fears in order to get rid of them. Hopefully it wouldn't be as hard for her as it had been to stand up to his ex-wife. But then again, she wasn't as unstable as he was. Or so he liked to think.

It was difficult to see her this way. Rafael had always admired her for how strong and unbreakable she was, and now that she was worn down from years of abuse and anxiety about her father, he found himself feeling nostalgic for who they used to be. It wasn't so difficult when they were still in school. They had to keep up with schoolwork, stay social, attend events, but nothing like this. They weren't sitting feet away from each other, barely able to speak without one or the other tossing a few words and then pulling away. This was a game of tennis and the ball was in her court. If he were to have it his way, it would always be on her side, but then again, it must be hard for her to listen to so many people's problems and never really get passed her own. Who would listen to her? Did she have anyone waiting for her at home? What was home away from London anyway?

He noticed the way that her nose wrinkled when she sniffled. That cute little button nose that she would use to her advantage whenever he said something that she didn't like. He noticed the way that her jaw curved delicately as she clenched it, his eyebrows furrowing a bit as he tried to remember what he'd done to provoke such actions. When she spoke, it hit him like a bat in the face, and he found himself struggling with something to say. He always seemed so careful and keen with his words in during a case. Where was that confidence now? It might have something to do with the fact that this was personal. Lesley wasn't just another face on the street. He knew her. He used to know her, back when things were normal. Now he didn't understand the concept, although he felt a bit more comfortable around her. Not necessarily with her eyes though, the ones that were welling up with tears that she refused to shed and he couldn't help but wonder why.

Was she ashamed of who they'd become?

"You don't have to be afraid, Les," Rafael heard himself say after she spoke, her words reaching him in a way that nothing else these sessions provided did. Because they came from her heart. He moved closer to her, his brown eyes moving down to address the things that she had set aside, making this session open-ended. She wasn't writing things down and he suddenly felt a bit less tense. Following suit with the improper card, he moved towards her, until he was standing right infront of her. Was she afraid of him? It was hard to tell. He had changed. Hesitantly, he reached over to brush her hair out of her face, brushing it behind the beautiful curve of her ear, before wrapping his arms loosely around her, bringing her closer to him.

"We're stronger people now... and we're in this together."

( LYRICS ) strangers - william control
( TAG ) lesley-darling to the bree-a-bean =]
( WORD COUNT ) falling strawberries w/o codes ftw
( NOTES ) aww, hugs ftw!

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